Lost Chance
by Bepottioniaries
Summary: Some time has passed but Christmas is back eventually. It's not a happy feast for everyone. For some it just brings bitter knowledge.


__Hey guys :)

Another little Christmasgift for you ;)

This time with the pairing H/Hr

I've never written it before so I thought I could give it a try since I read a few stories with this pairing and like them (:

Anyway, as a big surprise like always:

I do not own anything except for the storyline.

I would be happy about a review (;

And I hope you all have a great day xxx

* * *

_A drop in the ocean_

_A change in the weather_

_I was praying_

_That_

_You and me_

_Might end up_

_Together_

_(A drop in the ocean – Ron Pope)_

While the rain in front of the window was starting to change into real snowflakes Harry was starring at Hermione who was sitting opposite him and read the daily prophet. Ron was heard how he was making noises in the kitchen with some things. Harry wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her what he should have told her years ago. But how could he do that? After everything that has happened he was just wishing to get something he wanted unconditionally for once. But exactly this one thing seemed to be refused for him again and again. No matter what he did, no matter for what he decided, in the end he would have to pay for it in some way.

And how could he blame Ron in this case? Hermione was beautiful with her brown curls and her brown eyes, with her catching, wonderful laugh and her good figure. She has been at Harry's side from the beginning no matter what happened. She had never left him, never. She had always stood by Harry, supported him and helped him. Even if he never said it, he knew how much he owed her.

While he was checking her out, she looked up. And she smiled at him. Immediately Harry's heart skipped a beat and started racing. He forced himself to smile back and not to show anything. He could never forget what they had already been through together.

Eventually today was a Christmas morning again, just like back then when Ron left her. To be exactly one year ago. Hermione had stood by Harry and put him over Ron and that was the one thing which opened Harry's eyes. Ron really left Hermione alone with Harry in the woods. At first Harry had given his best to suppress and displace everything that was going on inside of him but sooner or later it just didn't work anymore. He remembered very well how Hermione had been crying for Ron every single night and he had just felt torn. On the one side he wanted Ron to come back naturally. After all he was his best friend and it would make Hermione feel better but on the other he knew that all his chances would be gone as soon as Ron would be back.

Because of this conflict he did nothing to cheer Hermione up at first but eventually he brought himself to do something. He made her dance with him and for a little moment everything seemed perfect. Both of them seemed to be in another world together, a world in which nobody but them existed, a world in which no Voldemort was there, a world in which no war was about to begin, a world in which Harry wasn't the chosen one and in which they could be together without feeling guilty.

It would have been the perfect time but it just lasted for a few moments. After it had passed everything came back. Everything was back to normal and with everything that had been going on he just couldn't tell her, he just hadn't been able to take this last step towards her. He sacrificed her. For the greater good.

He slightly troubled when Aberforths words about his brother came back to his mind, how bitterly his voice sounded. How Albus attitude destroyed the family and everything that has meant anything to him. For the greater good. That's been Albus' reason, that's been Harry's reason. Both of them had to pay dearly for it in the end.

On the day, on which Harry had killed Voldemort, it's been like Voldemort destroyed more than just his part in Harry and the rest were just broken, shattered pieces. Perhaps he was supposed to die with Voldemort. As balance for everyone who had died because of him. But he was still alive and felt lonely and empty like he has never felt before. Since then, no day has passed on which I wasn't wondering about the same questions, on which he didn't regret.

Finally being back in reality, he just knew how he could end all this. "Hermione…" He murmured. He looked up and at him. "Yeah?" How easy it would be to just say these three words: I love you! But he knew it wasn't up to him to tell her this. At least not anymore. He gave his best to not show anything of his true feelings and so just whispered: "I think, I'm going home." She frowned slightly but nodded. And then, suddenly there was something in her eyes that gave Harry a feeling as though she knew everything but just a heartbeat later it was gone again.

So Harry slowly stood up and walked toward the door to put on his jacket and then leave. Hermione had followed and Ron had also joined them. He placed an arm around his girlfriend and smiled at his best friend. While Harry was dressing, Hermione said: "Are you sure you want to leave now?" Harry hesitated for a moment, the temptation of this offer was just too big but he pulled himself together. He missed his chance a year ago and now it was too late. Now he wasn't meant to be here anymore. "Yes, I guess it's better this way."

Ron surveyed him dubiously. "It's the first Christmas since V… Voldemort defeat, our triumph and you want to spend it alone at your home?" Harry shrugged slightly. "I want to spend it at home, yeah, but alone…" "What are you talking about?" Hermione asked skeptically. Harry shook his head. "Nothing." He forced himself to smile while spreading out his arms to hug his best friends. "Merry Christmas!" When they both returned the hug, Harry took a deep breath to smell Hermione's warm smell again, touched her hand once again and gave her a smile.

"I guess, I see you…" So Harry left their apartment to go home finally. Hermione would never find out what he was really going to say because sometimes it's just too hard to listen to your heart.


End file.
